I have chosen this photo of the wedding lunch as I think it
represents just how ‘Western’ the wedding was.
A while before the wedding, my girlfriend told me that I had
been chosen to be one of the Groom’s best men, I was a little surprised at this
as I had never actually met him, and wasn’t that well acquainted with the Bride
either, but as she was one of my girlfriend’s best friends and I though it
would be fun I accepted.
On the morning of the wedding I had to make my way to a
hotel, where I was to meet someone who I didn’t know who was going to take me
somewhere unknown to do I don’t know what, which was all I knew. I met him outside the hotel at the ungodly
hour of 6 am and followed him in to the hotel room where he and his friends
were getting out of bed, I had seen a photo of the Groom and didn’t see him
there but the guys I was with told me we will first go to his house, then to
the Bride’s house, then back to his house, and then come all the way back to
this hotel, because this is where the reception will take place. There is no ceremony or church to go to
because Chinese actually get officially married months before, which is a walk
in two minute procedure to the registry office. So after a while they all got dressed and we
made our way to the Groom’s house, which is the new house that the Groom has to
buy for the wedding. It is a
prerequisite of marriage here that the Groom has to buy a house, or at least
have a house fully paid off. Which seems
a bit ridiculous in a country where house prices are astronomical and the
average salary is £700 a month, but the Chinese are very good savers, as they
have to be- no money saved means no marriage or healthcare. And they are also very good at getting rich,
like this Groom, who is what the Chinese call a “rich second generation”, a
child who’s parents has profited from the explosion of wealth in China by
setting up a business and making big money fast. And what better way to show off your wealth
than buying a fancy new house in a fancy new neighbourhood, filling it with big
TVs and Apple computers and getting everyone from the wedding to come and see
it. As I walked in and met the Groom’s
parents the first thing they said to me was “hello, go and have a good look
around”, which I did, very impressive, although a little tacky. The Chinese don’t personalise their houses
very much, apart from a few photos everything is kept very clean and
simple. And something that I have always
found strange coming from the home of fengshui is that the arrangement of
furniture is always very bad, maybe that is just fengshui, but it seems to be
that everything is arranged neither aesthetically nor practically. There were lots of people at the house and I
finally met the Groom. We stayed for a
while and then left, for the Bride’s house, her family house where she has been
living until now, now she is getting married and leaving her family to move to
become part of her husband’s family.
About 20 or so of us left and outside waiting was a big yellow Hummer
and 5 Chevrolet Cameros, I got to ride in a Hyundai.
After a ride across a very busy town filled with lots of
other wedding cars- that day an auspicious date apparently. Numbers are very important in China, there are
good ones and bad one, 9 for instance sounds like the same word for ‘long
time’, so that’s a good one. 4 however,
sounds like ‘death’, so that’s a no no.
So if you can pick a date with some good numbers like 9 for your
wedding, you will be married and happy for a long time. Later this month May the 21st
promises to have a lot of weddings as 5 21 (wǔ èr yī) sounds like (wǒ ài nǐ)
which means ‘I love you’, ahh. Anywho,
we arrived at the Bride’s house and everyone piled out of their cars and
started cramming their way in to the stairwell excitedly following the Groom,
who has to knock on the front door and persuade the Bride’s mother and father
to open to door, they are reluctant as this represents the Groom coming and
taking their daughter away, but then this is actually what he does so they’re
right to be reluctant, it is the Grooms job to tell them how much he loves
their daughter and will wait outside that door forever if he needs to. Knock, knock! “delivery service” he calls
out, everybody laughs. For a good few
minutes he continues knocking on the door and asking for permission to be let
in, finally they open to door, and there is nothing stopping him from getting
to his wife. Apart from the bedroom
door, and all of the Bridesmaids who also don’t want to open the door and give
away their friend, they put up more of a battle, and here the Groom has to be a
bit more cunning “open the door and I’ll slide you in some money” he says. After negotiating a price the door is opened
a little, and then pushed open fully by the Groom and the tide of people trying
the see in. The Bride is sat ready on
the bed in her dress and only the sweetest whispers of her husband’s sweet
nothings will persuade her to get up and leave with him, which she does. And then even more people pile back on to the
street and back in to the cars to go to the Groom’s house. At the Groom’s house the Bride knocks on the
Groom’s door and asks for permission to enter, she has a much easier job than
the Groom and is let in fairly quickly.
After this it’s back in to the cars and off to the hotel.
At the
hotel the Bride waits at reception and greets all the guests, there is a
counter where people give their money, how much depends on how well you know
the Bride and Groom. For my girlfriend,
being a best friend it’s £200. You pay your money, and then
you get to sit down in the hall and get ready for the show!
I walked in
to the hall just as things were about to get started, the Bride and Bridesmaids
were standing outside waiting to enter.
I stood to the side of the room, at the front of the hall was a stage,
and protruding from the stage through most of the room ran a catwalk. All the lights were off apart from a line of
spinning spot lights running along either side of the catwalk. Very loud music made conversation nearly
impossible, drum beats built up and up the tension, at semi climaxes big puffs
of smoke spurted out from either side of the stage. The drum beats keep building up faster and
faster, louder and louder, the spot lights spin like crazy and flicker through
the dark room. I look to the stage,
what’s going to happen? To the door where the Bridesmaids are waiting, back to
the stage. The music keeps building, the
smoke machines puff and suddenly the music climaxes with a massive beat of the
drums. Then silence, I look from side to
side, where are they going to come from? Who is going to come out? I hold my
breath but still there is silence, nothing happens. Then suddenly the drums start again, but slowly,
the CD has started again.
The music
starts it dramatic drum beat again but I don’t pay much attention this
time. About half way through it stops,
and three pretty young girls walk on to the stage and start dancing. After they finish the Groom gets up on stage
with his friends and they start singing, the Groom then breaks off from his
friends and the music goes romantic, he walks down the catwalk looking
longingly towards the door where his wife will come from. As he reaches the end of the catwalk, she
enters, followed by the bridesmaids they walk to meet him. An MC starts talking loudly and then the 3
dancing girls come back, this time dressed in rather revealing outfits and
carrying a chair. ‘loosen up my buttons’ by ‘the pussycat dolls’ starts playing
and the girls start dancing around their chairs. I look around the room and see
lots of children and old people and wonder what they think of this erotic
dancing, but no-one really seems to be paying that much attention, just
watching casually. After the dancing the
husband and wife get on stage and the MC talks for a while, not much really
happens and then they get off the stage.
Next food starts getting served, and as you can see from the main photo
despite it being a Western wedding there was definitely no western food, but
then there wouldn’t be. Chinese people
love their food culture, and consider it to be the greatest in the world. So they wouldn’t want to spoil their tables
with awful western food, and here western food truly is awful so it’s a good
thing really. And most of the food is
edible, and quite tasty, I didn’t touch the pork face though. The dishes come out one by one and eventually
start piling up on the table, each table gets about 30 or so different dishes
and not one of those is finished as there is only 8 people to a table. As the meal goes on the food just keeps
coming and plates get emptied on to other plates and eventually there is a
little mountain of plates stacked atop of each other in the middle of the
table. Just about every kind of edible
food imaginable is served, and quite a few you wouldn’t imagine edible all spin
around on a big lazy Susan, a bottle of Chinese spirit, some beers and a few
packs of cigarettes are also put on the table.
After a while the Bride and Groom come around from table to table to
drink with their guests, a big glass of Chinese spirit of carried on a tray and
guests take turns to take a sip with the couple. After this the couple goes to their private
rooms to eat with their closest friends and family, otherwise they would just
have to sit in the hall with everyone else.
And we stay at our table and enjoy the food and show, which continues
with the dancing ladies, a magic show, a traditional face changing mask dancer,
and singers. A male singer is introduced
by the MC as a famous local singer and sings a few Chinese songs and is
followed by a Chinese girl who sings ‘Rolling in the deep’ by ‘Adele’ very
loudly, and then rather fittingly the show is over, and then with lunch
finished and no more entertainment people start to promptly leave.
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